Movie Review: Godzilla 2014

– rated ‘Limburger’ on the cheese scale.

Godzilla.

An ancient terror that could mean the end of the world, as we know it, has arisen from the deepest depths of our deepest oceans and no one saw it coming… Except for the entire government of Japan, America’s military, and some guy that worked in a power plant. Godzilla is out of the ocean and in plain site after years of cover-ups and conspiracies, and our planet’s only hope is Toby McGuire and Jake Gyllenhaal’s love child. But what other monsters lie in the darkness?

Slow moving and predictable “Godzilla” is not all it built itself up to be. I had pretty high hopes after a lot of very interesting trailers and hype from friends, but overall I was pretty let down.  The story is slow and a majority of the dialogue is just people talking about the location of Godzilla or the location he is headed to. While Godzilla was a towering monstrosity who could level a city on a whim, there was still an even larger monster on the big screen. The acting. Character’s expressions and tones were totally unbelievable and immediately pulled me away from any investment I may have had in the film before, with the exception being Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad). Every time a lead character spoke I was reminded of the children in church Christmas plays. The fact that every line and action was completely predictable didn’t help to wash the bad taste out of my mouth. From removing glasses slowly to repeating every other line twice for emphasis, I knew the entire script before the actors could say their lines.

In an attempt to get the audience emotionally invested in all the travesty and destruction that was happening, before every major event there would be an elongated shot of a child or dog. They let you fall in love with their cute faces right before the King of Monsters trampled their doghouses and princess parties. Fortunately the mayhem looked pretty phenomenal. In addition to some truly awe inspiring visuals the director (Gareth Edwards) does a great job of keeping the monsters fairly neutral and true to their instincts instead of feeling like villains hatching an evil plot. The animation on this film was spot on and hyper realistic. Not once did I consider that the monsters had been animated throughout the movie, which is a major accomplishment. In addition to gorgeous monsters an astounding set design, with a few allowances, also heavily backs the movie and almost redeems some aspects of it.

Now I know what you’re thinking… “It’s a monster movie, you don’t go for the story.” I thought the same thing, until I realized it was an hour and a half in and all that had happened was a few family tragedies and the longest chase sequence in the world. All too often the film will build up a long awaited fight and then cut away from it and show soldiers running while you hear the chaos of warfare booming behind them. Multiple times throughout the movie everyone in the audience threw their hands up with sighs of frustration. The film delivered a grand total of two times after approximately twenty climaxes in the story. Suspense is a very healthy aspect of film, but ‘Godzilla’ fails to deliver again, and again, and again….

Ultimately the only audiences that are truly going to enjoy the film are die-hard fans. The movie stays fairly true to its roots and caters heavily toward anyone familiar with them. Two of the largest builds in the film lead to a man saying “Gahzirra” and to the monster letting out his signature roar, which a small handful of people cheered for. If you aren’t going to see ‘Godzilla’ to hear a loud mouthed lizard or an Asian gentleman whose accent only crops when uttering the lizard’s name, I’d suggest saving your money.

Godzilla was one monster of a let down.

– rated ‘Limburger’ on the cheese scale.