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10 Ways to Stop Sabotaging Yourself in the Kitchen

10 Ways to Stop Sabotaging Yourself in the Kitchen

Many of today's adults, myself included, have missed out on a basic experience with food. We represent the first few generations who are so removed from food that most of us could not find familiar vegetables if they grew wild in our local parks. We have been raised on convenience foods, sold to our parents and grandparents as "time savers" that would allow them to spend more time with us. Over the years, this industrialized food system created a massive disconnect between our modern kitchens and what is good for our bodies, and we didn't even know it was happening.

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Town Mountain & Foghorn Stringband Perform at Isis 3/28/14

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Town Mountain & Foghorn Stringband Perform at Isis on Fri 3/28 $12 Adv / $14 doors;  5PM Door / 9pm show; General Admission with Some Balcony Seating 828-575-2737 743 Haywood Road Asheville, NC 28806  www.isisasheville.com The sound of the award-winning group Town Mountain can best be described as traditional bluegrass, albeit with a rough-hewn side to it that is not too slick or glossy. They are a band of the here-and-now, yet they have a groove that is based on the bluesy and swinging sounds explored by the first generation of bluegrass pioneers of the last century. With the success of their latest album, Leave the Bottle, the word is out with some of their best reviews yet. “Thank god that Town Mountain are around to blow a hole in all the genre-juggling games of which music writers like myself are so fond,” said Devon Leger, of Ed Helms’ The Bluegrass Situation. “They play bluegrass. Period. They play it hard, they play it fast, and they play it like their fingers are bleeding and their picks are breaking.” “Phil Barker’s ‘Lawdog’ sounds like an unearthed classic, and the group’s tight harmonies alone make this record a treat for any bluegrass fan,” …

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Interview with Dave Desmelik

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1270857_10151908800466528_1536470755_oOur effort to help promote local music continues as Dave Desmelik plays some tunes and chats with Chris about Asheville, his life in music, and how to make the best scrambled eggs. Dave is an accomplished performer who has played in bands all over the nation. Currently Dave is based in Brevard and plays locally all over WNC.

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Dispelling the Love Myths Week 4: Feeling Love is Enough

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There are a million love songs. From Donna Summers I Feel Love to The Lion King’s Can you Feel the Love Tonight, they all remind us that when love is present, it is palpable. So I’m willing to agree that love is a feeling. The problem is love felt, but not expressed, is not enough. I wrote on Week One that we need to figure out how we want to be loved. If your partner loves you madly, but treats you badly, is that really love? This is where the fourth Principle of Loving comes in: Love is Good Will in Action. If you want to love someone more, do nice things for them, keeping in mind what they would like to receive from you.  If you want some one to love you more, allow them to do nice things for you.

A little counter intuitive, no? We think that the more we do for another, the more they will love us.  In reality, the kindest thing you can do for another is let them know how they can please you, and then be pleased by their good will in action. Jerry Jud talks about another facet of good will in action, which is that, to truly love, we have to come to grips with the fact that we are all good, and bad, dark and light.  He said, “I have to own my own darkness in order to live with your darkness.  But I also have to own my own light in order to live with your brilliant light.. . . If you are going to love somebody, you have to love the whole thing.”**

Victor Baranco said it another way, “Love is the willingness to see yourself through all of another person's viewpoints.”  And here’s the love myth.  That someone out there is the perfect person for us, in every way. Their bumps will fit our grooves, and we will live happily, lovingly ever after. We believe that true love sees us as we wish to see ourselves. Anyone who’s been in a relationship knows this isn’t true.  Our “soul mates” stick their thumbs in every sore spot we have. We are attracted to the people who have the things we lack, and then resent them for it. They mirror back  our shadows, and also call us to live into our highest selves.This can be very uncomfortable!

The next time you find yourself not liking someone very much, you can re-connect to your love for them by remembering that love is good will in action. More on what that might look like when we get the skills of loving.

What are your thoughts? Do these principles inform your relationships?
Next time: The last principle, Love is a response to need.

To read the prior posts, click below
Week OneWeek Two | Week Three

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